so fridays are usually slumming it day. scrubs and minimal makeup. i didn't even shower... i go to work, pick up mail - drive to post office for bulk mailing. no prob.
when i come back, man of my dreams is there on his day off and he's being his usual amazing self and usually i'm cool with him.. but today was different. i was so fucking nervous around him that i kept clicking my pen like nonstop and acting all jittery.

i'm not sure if it's because i was looking pretty fuckard or tired or if i'm just creepy obsessed or if it's all of the aforementioned and more.

i need to start getting stoned before work so i can chill out a little bit when he's around.

ughhhh.

[mood]: fuckered

yesterday i got completely obliteratedly fuckered while listening to jimmy eat world... & it was kind of awesome. i miss the people i used to know & i miss adventures and laughing and singing and not caring about grown up things... i don't miss the whole confusing idiocy of boys or lack thereof... that's still an issue. with the liking the ones i shouldn't/have no chance with and not being interested in the ones that are...& there aren't many, srsly.

work is overrated and a waste of time. this totally sucks.

i'm tired of being confused and letdown and bored and never completely happy. i'm totally whining & i kind of don't care at this point.

[mood]: crushed
[music]: modest mouse

blaaaaaaaaaah.


thumbs up: alcohol. wii. puppies. zach galifianakis.


thumbs down: dead iPods. being bored. needing a job. stupid feelings. hot weather.


i'm tired.

[mood]: apathetic

job searching sucks.
work sucks.
the thought of having to work sucks.

wii rules.

[mood]: bored
[music]: feist

another night of being up gnarly late and feeling shitty but unable to sleep. at least i did some homework. tv consumes my life lately... probably because everything else is in pointless-mode... and that's oddly amusing considering tv is like the biggest waste of time evarrr.

i dream about drugs and music and children, not all at once and not in that order, but the frequency is about the same for all three.

i hope this phase is short-lived. apathy is a constant part of my life, but this is becoming alarming - i need to finish school and find some sort of employment that won't make me want to shoot myself in the face or shoot others.

viceland.com is my life. "we are all in an abusive relationship with god."

[mood]: tired
[music]: swan lake - all fires

i was in the garage / shed looking for xmas decorations and i found my Sega!
yessss!

[mood]: dorky
[music]: xmas music

i totally sing along to Journey songs at the top of my lungs while driving.
i win!
i just got home from babysitting my cousins... at 3 fucking am. GOHHH. so tired...

Current Location: home
[mood]: tired
[music]: belle and sebastian

for psilocybin. ♥

[mood]: high
[music]: celebrity fit club hahaha.

ok, i really do NOT like angela. or laura.
jeffrey's dress was killer.
i actually like allison - i'm sad to see her go.

this season is by far... not that great.

i'm tired of seeing homegirl's man chest - deep V's and high waists are played out, honey. start designing something that doesn't look like you ripped it out of your architect closet.

angela. quit with the stupid skirts. you're in your 30's. patterned tights are for ten year olds. stop dressing like a 15 year old harajuku slut.

okay i feel somewhat better

drug therapy ce weekend, hopefully. so over the summer school thing. final later today... pure bullshit. yesssssss. i need some sleep, and relief from allergies? vegan sloppy joes are pretty killer.

Current Location: san diego
[mood]: allergic
[music]: band of horses

man. i always feel emotionally drained after watching eternal sunshine... it's like - a good drained? i don't know. sad/hopeful/letdown/confused. i should have just watched office space. fuck.

[mood]: lonely
[music]: trail of dead